I, Leather or I, Rubber?

I, Leather or I, Rubber? Are the two fetishes so different and can they exist in the same world?

As a kinky guy who's been into rubber almost as long as I've been into leather, the answer is a big ole pervy yes they are different and yes they happily exist in the same world! So why is the perception still pervasive that "real" leather guys don't wear rubber? And neither do bears or hairy guys or guys with a less-than-a-perfect gym bod.

We just had our 5th annual West Coast Rubber Weekend here in LA and I can tell you that every one of those guys who "don't" wear rubber was there and every one of them looked and felt hot in their gear. It's all about attitude and it's about how you feel in what you wear.

There are some major differences between the two fetishes. Leather tends to be more traditional with with the hyper-masculine (and hyper-hung!) Tom of Finland leather man in classic leather breeches, boots and leather uniform shirt serving as a prime example. I have to say "tends" to be more traditional because as the fetish has evolved designers like Priape in Canada, www.gaibec.com, have emerged with hot, cutting edge designs that incorporate unusual cuts, fabrics and treatments. Locally you can snag amazing creations with color and cut at Rough Trade and 665.

Rubber tends to fit a lot tighter than leather and aficionados of the fetish talk about the sensuality of wearing rubber, how it conforms to your body and becomes like a second skin. Rubber also lends itself to really sensual play like lubing up and sliding around on a play sheet, grinding against each other until....well, I'm getting off track here. It's hot, let's just leave it at that.

And yeah, rubber is hot, and it's cold. Because it is like a second skin it doesn't tend to offer a lot of protection against the elements. One of the most common comments I get when I'm out in my rubber gear is "Isn't that hot?" Yeah, it can be and that's part of the sensuality of wearing rubber when you get that layer of sweat underneath and you feel the rubber moving against and with your body. It's like whole body frottage!

I'm seeing more and more rubber at leather events like International Mr Leather and Mid Atlantic Leather and I'm even seeing some leather at rubber events like West Coast Rubber. These days it's less about the protocol and more about what feels sexy and hot. This weekend we selected Jeffrey Moline, a local WeHo guy, as our Mr West Coast Rubber for 2009. I know that Jeffrey also wears leather, and suits and sports kit, and looks hot in all of them. By the way, you can start your own slippery rubber collection at Syren/Stockroom right here in LA.

So, whether you're wearing leather or rubber, get your gear on and get your rocks off!

Loren Berthelsen
Mr Golden Leather 2009
Co-Producer, West Coast Rubber
Photo by JayPG Photography

OPEN KINK

By: Kinky Brothers

LA brings back the American Leatherman title home. Randy Carmenaty, American Leatherman 2008, went to New Orleans the weekend of July 9-12 to step aside and sash his successor. LA's Alex Lindsay beat out the competition and is the new American Leatherman 2009. Alex is also the current Mr. Regiment 2009 and 1st Runner-up to Mr. LA Leather 2009. Alex's competition consisted of a basket auction, interview with the judging panel, jock wear, formal leather & speech, and stage fantasy. Alex's formal speech described his title year's platform - openness in the kink community. Below he discusses his willingness to publicly discuss BDSM and share that passion openly and proudly.

Leading up to competing for the title of American Leatherman, I had a realization. It occurred to me that everything good I have in my life stems directly or indirectly from openness. Whether it's my work, marriage, friends, or community, the happiness I enjoy is enriched by openness. For forty years we have celebrated gay pride, and more recently leather pride as well. But there's more to kink than leather, and more to pride than parades.

I decided to create a way for people who are kinky to be out and proud about their kinks together, rather than as separate communities. Regardless of sexuality, whether they are into leather, rubber, flogging, fisting, furries, or who-knows-what. A way to say "I like creative sex. Talk to me about what turns you on or ask me about what turns me on. We may or may not like the same things, but we have this passion in common."

OpenKink is a symbol - a combination of an O and K - standing for Open Kink, and also as a reminder that it is OK to be kinky — whatever your kink. OpenKink.org is also a network — a way to find those people, clubs, websites and organizations which are kinky and reach out the public to share their kink.

It began in New York City, where I was born and raised. 40 years ago, just after I stepped into the world, the Stonewall riots opened the door of the gay closet, and we've been stepping out of it ever since. For me, during my freshman year of college, as soon as I realized it was guys I was interested in, I came out to my friends, and very quickly to my family. Absolutely, it was not an easy thing to do, but it strenghtened my relationships with my friends and my family. Rather than building a wall between us, I built a window. I quickly found myself playing the pronoun game at work. I came out there as well, and the sky didn't fall. Coming out gave me more confidence as a person—my comfort with my own sexuality spilled over into a confidence in the way I lived my life.

I knew I was kinky, even though I didn't know that's what being kinky was. What I did know was that the AIDS crisis was building, and I was terrified of sex. I discovered the Spike, but was so scared of the stories, that I would sit in my car weekend after weekend, waiting for something to happen. The thing that happened, is that I saw an announcement about GMSMA meetings. I was amazed to discover that there were men who talked about and taught about kinky sex. I was able to keep myself from jumping into the deep end of the pool, and instead stepped onto the stairs. I was welcomed and made friends there and was introduced to BDSM. To this day, I firmly believe that GMSMA saved my life. It may or may not be true in fact, but it is my personal truth.

Since that time I have sought out those people who present themselves publicly as kinky members of the world we live in. Whether they are the Leather Daddies of San Francisco, members of Threshold in LA or Club X in San Diego or club brothers in Avatar Los Angeles, these men and women enrich their lives and mine by sharing their passion openly.

I believe that, yes, coming out is a challenge, fraught with risk, and coming out kinky is even more so. There was a time not that long ago when being perceived as gay could ruin your family, your friendships, your career. But, thanks to the hard work, perseverance, and courage of individuals and organizations all around the world, we as gay men and lesbians now live in a better world. Is that work over? No, but it only gets easier as we become more visible.

And so it is with being kinky. Today, there are many places where you still risk family, friendships, career if your enjoyment of kinky sex comes out. But there are more and more places where is it irrelevant. Especially in larger corporations, the culture has developed where if you are a productive worker, your personal life is not an issue as long as it does not interfere with your work. This is on par with one's practice of religion. This is not to say that we need to share the details of our sex lives with friends, family, and colleagues, but it does mean being open to curiosity, and being ready to share. A few months ago, when asked what I was going to be up to over the weekend, I paused for a moment, and I came out. I said "I am competing for the title of Los Angeles Leather." There were questions about what that meant, and I offered some general information about the contest. Other questions were asked privately, and I offered a little more information.

So, OpenKink.org was born. Right now tell me what turns you on, and OpenKink will help you find it.

Bottoms Up — a Top Down Look at Dom/sub relationships

By Kinky Brothers


There's a lot of fun you can have in a kinky relationship. Discovering new games, enjoying familiar ones—creative sexual play is at the heart of a Dominant/submissive relationship. But, by paying special attention to the power you have as a dominant, and using it wisely, you can have one of the most rewarding partnerships imaginable.

It's easy to think that if you are the dominant partner in a power partnership, all you need to do is tell your sub what to do, and be in charge, and all will be well. If life, and people, were that simple it would be a lot easier, but it would probably also be pretty boring.

It's important to remember that very few people are completely submissive. Even if a guy does nothing but bottom in the playroom, he still has his own particular wants and needs. A sub, however, is far less likely to make them known, than a dom will.

There are two different ways of handling this challenge as a top. The first is to take charge of your bottom, and gently pull information out of him, whether it's about sex or about where to go for dinner. A sub or bottom will often be reluctant to express his wants or opinions and may come across as indecisive or noncommittal. "Is there anywhere you feel like having sex today?" is quickly answered with "Wherever you want..."

This is where your best tools are a skill at listening, and an ability to help narrow down choices for the sub. "Would you rather have sex in the shower or on the kitchen floor, boy?" By giving him specific choices, you'll make your bottom more comfortable with expressing an opinion. Even if it's something like "um...actually...I was thinking about the back of the pickup..."

The other way of handling a boy's indecision, is to use your sexual influence to make him WANT what you want. Grab him from behind, hold his arms in a full-nelson restraint, you grind your crotch against his backside, and sexily ask him "So, pup, how does Thai food sound for dinner?" It's all in the delivery. You know what makes him hot. Push his buttons and he'll follow you just about anywhere. He might have been thinking about steak, but you've given him another piece of meat to focus on.

You have this power available to you as a top. Control, manipulation, influence. It's extremely sexy, and very powerful. Boys want to be controlled, manipulated, influenced. But...what they REALLY want is to be manipulated into doing what they already want to do or know that they ought to do.

The responsibility that comes along with that power is judgment. If you aren't careful with your influence over a boy, you can easily misdirect him, leading him to bad choices, or a state of unhappiness.
The longer you spend with a sub, the greater your ability to change the course of his life. In a strong relationship, you'll learn what your sub wants out of life, but doesn't know how to achieve. Use your influence to help him develop and grow. As he does, your relationship will intensify. He'll know when your influence has benefited him, and that will only reinforce his connection to you.

This influence also can make you into an anchor of stability for a sub. By being consistent in how you treat your sub, how you encourage him, how you discourage him, you offer him security. That emotional reliability can be the core of a truly wonderful dom/sub relationship. But you, as the dominant partner, have to watch out that your partner doesn't become completely dependent on you. You want to use the emotional stability that you offer your sub to encourage him to take risks and experiment. His knowing that you are there to catch him will help him gain confidence and boldness in approaching life and its challenges.

In the leather community there is a lot of talk of mentorship, the bringing along of boys into manhood. This happens first and foremost in power relationships. Not only do you offer the emotional security and guidance to help a boy grow, you will also be more likely to have ties to groups, clubs, and other people in the community. So, you also offer your sub connection. He will begin to develop a place in the community through interactions you have together with the people around you.

The powerful sexuality of dom/sub play is amazing, intense, and alluring. But the intensity is incredibly magnified by the dom/sub partnership that comes from long-lasting, well-developed, emotional bonding between a dominant and a submissive.

Grab the reins of a great boy and hold on tight, cause he'll be the best ride you could hope for.

Searching for a Top who's a Ten

By Kinky Brothers

It's a Saturday afternoon, you're sitting on the couch daydreaming, thinking about the guys you've dated, the guys you've played with. And it occurs to you, that you want something more, something different, something...edgier. You're looking for your first Top!

First, you need to figure out what kind of top is your best fit. Figuring out what gets your juices going sometimes takes a little experimentation, and sometimes...you just know what pops a woody. So, here's a sampling:

Daddy — Maybe you like a man a bit older than you, so you can still act a little silly, be watched over, and yet have a great degree of independence, a Daddy may be the man of your dreams.

Master — Think on this...you, sitting naked on the floor, booted legs resting against your chest. With a bit of a kick to your butt, he says 'get me a beer'. You get hard and run to grab him a beer. He notices that you're hard, and gives your dick a quick rap with a riding crop, reminding you that you're not to get hard without permission. Which only makes you harder. Maybe you're looking for a Master.

Boss — Boots and braces are the order of the day. If you like a guy who's trim and fit, and well put together on the surface, but a raunchy, anything-goes and 'I'm the f**ker in charge' pig underneath, then the Boss will be your bliss.

Handler — Pure obedience. You will know when you've done a good job, and you'll know when you've missed the mark. A Handler will train you and work you but the rewards are worth it.

Getting there from here...
So, you know what you want, but don't know how or where to find it. You can always go to a leather bar or a gear event but it can be hard to break the ice. These days, the Internet is clearly the go-to spot for all things fetish. And it can be a safe platform from which to launch your search.

Do you have a profile on one or more of the hookup sites online? Recon? Adam4Adam? LeatherMatch? Most sites have free, basic profiles available.

Once your get a profile, you want to make sure that your profile is inviting. Here are some tips:
Pick a meaningful and sexy handle
Pick a great sexy main profile pic that shows you at your best
Fill out your profile with additional images
Say something about yourself
Say something about what you want
Update your profile from time to time
Send messages to guys who interest you
Reply to all the messages you get - even the ones that don't interest you


Think about what it is that turns you on. And, what do you want someone else to be turned on by. Browse other profiles, see what interests you. Look at the kinds of pics that make you stop and stare. Experiment with lots of pictures, and then look at them carefully and ask what each picture is really saying. Ask a professional photographer to take photos of you and be sure to give credit where credit is due. Remember, a pic is worth a thousand words. Make them work for you.

So...you've dressed up your profile, but nobody's knocking...? Try opening some doors. Send some introductory messages to guys you think are hot. Tell them WHY you think they're hot. Tell them a fantasy that really turns you on, but write it as if the guy reading it is the top in the story. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Be curious. Be friendly. Be responsive. Listen to what the messages you get back are saying and get into the role. If it feels right, go with it. If not, politely move on. And this may sound silly, but if you chat with a bunch of guys....take notes. It helps if you don't ask the same question over and over.

Most importantly, remember...it's supposed to be fun, so have fun with it.

Leather Beach Sunday 3 to 5 pm June 28th

Every Sunday Faultline goes off
Faultline Bar
4261 Melrose Ave
90029

Mr Rubber 2009 Mr. Chris McFaul