By Kinky Brothers
There's a lot of fun you can have in a kinky relationship. Discovering new games, enjoying familiar ones—creative sexual play is at the heart of a Dominant/submissive relationship. But, by paying special attention to the power you have as a dominant, and using it wisely, you can have one of the most rewarding partnerships imaginable.
It's easy to think that if you are the dominant partner in a power partnership, all you need to do is tell your sub what to do, and be in charge, and all will be well. If life, and people, were that simple it would be a lot easier, but it would probably also be pretty boring.
It's important to remember that very few people are completely submissive. Even if a guy does nothing but bottom in the playroom, he still has his own particular wants and needs. A sub, however, is far less likely to make them known, than a dom will.
There are two different ways of handling this challenge as a top. The first is to take charge of your bottom, and gently pull information out of him, whether it's about sex or about where to go for dinner. A sub or bottom will often be reluctant to express his wants or opinions and may come across as indecisive or noncommittal. "Is there anywhere you feel like having sex today?" is quickly answered with "Wherever you want..."
This is where your best tools are a skill at listening, and an ability to help narrow down choices for the sub. "Would you rather have sex in the shower or on the kitchen floor, boy?" By giving him specific choices, you'll make your bottom more comfortable with expressing an opinion. Even if it's something like "um...actually...I was thinking about the back of the pickup..."
The other way of handling a boy's indecision, is to use your sexual influence to make him WANT what you want. Grab him from behind, hold his arms in a full-nelson restraint, you grind your crotch against his backside, and sexily ask him "So, pup, how does Thai food sound for dinner?" It's all in the delivery. You know what makes him hot. Push his buttons and he'll follow you just about anywhere. He might have been thinking about steak, but you've given him another piece of meat to focus on.
You have this power available to you as a top. Control, manipulation, influence. It's extremely sexy, and very powerful. Boys want to be controlled, manipulated, influenced. But...what they REALLY want is to be manipulated into doing what they already want to do or know that they ought to do.
The responsibility that comes along with that power is judgment. If you aren't careful with your influence over a boy, you can easily misdirect him, leading him to bad choices, or a state of unhappiness.
The longer you spend with a sub, the greater your ability to change the course of his life. In a strong relationship, you'll learn what your sub wants out of life, but doesn't know how to achieve. Use your influence to help him develop and grow. As he does, your relationship will intensify. He'll know when your influence has benefited him, and that will only reinforce his connection to you.
This influence also can make you into an anchor of stability for a sub. By being consistent in how you treat your sub, how you encourage him, how you discourage him, you offer him security. That emotional reliability can be the core of a truly wonderful dom/sub relationship. But you, as the dominant partner, have to watch out that your partner doesn't become completely dependent on you. You want to use the emotional stability that you offer your sub to encourage him to take risks and experiment. His knowing that you are there to catch him will help him gain confidence and boldness in approaching life and its challenges.
In the leather community there is a lot of talk of mentorship, the bringing along of boys into manhood. This happens first and foremost in power relationships. Not only do you offer the emotional security and guidance to help a boy grow, you will also be more likely to have ties to groups, clubs, and other people in the community. So, you also offer your sub connection. He will begin to develop a place in the community through interactions you have together with the people around you.
The powerful sexuality of dom/sub play is amazing, intense, and alluring. But the intensity is incredibly magnified by the dom/sub partnership that comes from long-lasting, well-developed, emotional bonding between a dominant and a submissive.
Grab the reins of a great boy and hold on tight, cause he'll be the best ride you could hope for.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Searching for a Top who's a Ten
By Kinky Brothers
It's a Saturday afternoon, you're sitting on the couch daydreaming, thinking about the guys you've dated, the guys you've played with. And it occurs to you, that you want something more, something different, something...edgier. You're looking for your first Top!
First, you need to figure out what kind of top is your best fit. Figuring out what gets your juices going sometimes takes a little experimentation, and sometimes...you just know what pops a woody. So, here's a sampling:
Daddy — Maybe you like a man a bit older than you, so you can still act a little silly, be watched over, and yet have a great degree of independence, a Daddy may be the man of your dreams.
Master — Think on this...you, sitting naked on the floor, booted legs resting against your chest. With a bit of a kick to your butt, he says 'get me a beer'. You get hard and run to grab him a beer. He notices that you're hard, and gives your dick a quick rap with a riding crop, reminding you that you're not to get hard without permission. Which only makes you harder. Maybe you're looking for a Master.
Boss — Boots and braces are the order of the day. If you like a guy who's trim and fit, and well put together on the surface, but a raunchy, anything-goes and 'I'm the f**ker in charge' pig underneath, then the Boss will be your bliss.
Handler — Pure obedience. You will know when you've done a good job, and you'll know when you've missed the mark. A Handler will train you and work you but the rewards are worth it.
Getting there from here...
So, you know what you want, but don't know how or where to find it. You can always go to a leather bar or a gear event but it can be hard to break the ice. These days, the Internet is clearly the go-to spot for all things fetish. And it can be a safe platform from which to launch your search.
Do you have a profile on one or more of the hookup sites online? Recon? Adam4Adam? LeatherMatch? Most sites have free, basic profiles available.
Once your get a profile, you want to make sure that your profile is inviting. Here are some tips:
Pick a meaningful and sexy handle
Pick a great sexy main profile pic that shows you at your best
Fill out your profile with additional images
Say something about yourself
Say something about what you want
Update your profile from time to time
Send messages to guys who interest you
Reply to all the messages you get - even the ones that don't interest you
Think about what it is that turns you on. And, what do you want someone else to be turned on by. Browse other profiles, see what interests you. Look at the kinds of pics that make you stop and stare. Experiment with lots of pictures, and then look at them carefully and ask what each picture is really saying. Ask a professional photographer to take photos of you and be sure to give credit where credit is due. Remember, a pic is worth a thousand words. Make them work for you.
So...you've dressed up your profile, but nobody's knocking...? Try opening some doors. Send some introductory messages to guys you think are hot. Tell them WHY you think they're hot. Tell them a fantasy that really turns you on, but write it as if the guy reading it is the top in the story. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Be curious. Be friendly. Be responsive. Listen to what the messages you get back are saying and get into the role. If it feels right, go with it. If not, politely move on. And this may sound silly, but if you chat with a bunch of guys....take notes. It helps if you don't ask the same question over and over.
Most importantly, remember...it's supposed to be fun, so have fun with it.
It's a Saturday afternoon, you're sitting on the couch daydreaming, thinking about the guys you've dated, the guys you've played with. And it occurs to you, that you want something more, something different, something...edgier. You're looking for your first Top!
First, you need to figure out what kind of top is your best fit. Figuring out what gets your juices going sometimes takes a little experimentation, and sometimes...you just know what pops a woody. So, here's a sampling:
Daddy — Maybe you like a man a bit older than you, so you can still act a little silly, be watched over, and yet have a great degree of independence, a Daddy may be the man of your dreams.
Master — Think on this...you, sitting naked on the floor, booted legs resting against your chest. With a bit of a kick to your butt, he says 'get me a beer'. You get hard and run to grab him a beer. He notices that you're hard, and gives your dick a quick rap with a riding crop, reminding you that you're not to get hard without permission. Which only makes you harder. Maybe you're looking for a Master.
Boss — Boots and braces are the order of the day. If you like a guy who's trim and fit, and well put together on the surface, but a raunchy, anything-goes and 'I'm the f**ker in charge' pig underneath, then the Boss will be your bliss.
Handler — Pure obedience. You will know when you've done a good job, and you'll know when you've missed the mark. A Handler will train you and work you but the rewards are worth it.
Getting there from here...
So, you know what you want, but don't know how or where to find it. You can always go to a leather bar or a gear event but it can be hard to break the ice. These days, the Internet is clearly the go-to spot for all things fetish. And it can be a safe platform from which to launch your search.
Do you have a profile on one or more of the hookup sites online? Recon? Adam4Adam? LeatherMatch? Most sites have free, basic profiles available.
Once your get a profile, you want to make sure that your profile is inviting. Here are some tips:
Pick a meaningful and sexy handle
Pick a great sexy main profile pic that shows you at your best
Fill out your profile with additional images
Say something about yourself
Say something about what you want
Update your profile from time to time
Send messages to guys who interest you
Reply to all the messages you get - even the ones that don't interest you
Think about what it is that turns you on. And, what do you want someone else to be turned on by. Browse other profiles, see what interests you. Look at the kinds of pics that make you stop and stare. Experiment with lots of pictures, and then look at them carefully and ask what each picture is really saying. Ask a professional photographer to take photos of you and be sure to give credit where credit is due. Remember, a pic is worth a thousand words. Make them work for you.
So...you've dressed up your profile, but nobody's knocking...? Try opening some doors. Send some introductory messages to guys you think are hot. Tell them WHY you think they're hot. Tell them a fantasy that really turns you on, but write it as if the guy reading it is the top in the story. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Be curious. Be friendly. Be responsive. Listen to what the messages you get back are saying and get into the role. If it feels right, go with it. If not, politely move on. And this may sound silly, but if you chat with a bunch of guys....take notes. It helps if you don't ask the same question over and over.
Most importantly, remember...it's supposed to be fun, so have fun with it.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Leather Beach Sunday 3 to 5 pm June 28th
Every Sunday Faultline goes off
Faultline Bar
4261 Melrose Ave
90029
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Jeffrey Gent of Syren Couture on Latex
Latex is everywhere you look these days – music videos, hit TV shows, major motion pictures and even the runways of Paris have all been featuring latex clothing lately. The super glossy, form flattering look of latex clothing has a visual impact that definitely stands out.
Latex has been a part of the gay male fetish scene for well over 25 years in the US and even longer in Europe. There are events and clubs devoted to connecting latex fetishists in most major US cities, including a thriving scene here in Los Angeles. The Eagle LA has a monthly event called RUB OUT which is just for rubbermen (Friday June 26th) and they also sponsor the Mr. Eagle Rubber Contest. One of the best events to attend is West Coast Rubber Weekend (September 3rd thru the 5th) so make your reservations right away! RECON has a section just for rubbermen called Worldrubber.com that’s the best for social networking. Other websites, like Rubbermen.com, have helped form, over the years, the rubber scene as it stands today.
Latex is such an unusual and seductive material; there are all kinds of myths and misconceptions surrounding it. Many people are confused about the terms “Latex” and “Rubber.” Latex, which is made from the sap of the rubber tree, is a natural form of rubber.
When shopping for your first latex garment you will notice a wide array of prices. “Molded latex” – made by dipping a form into a vat of liquid latex – is temptingly affordable, but it doesn’t withstand stress well, rips easily, and has a shorter life span than items tailored from latex sheeting fabric, which is fused together using specially formulated glue. The tailoring process creates a more durable final product than molding rubber.
Are you curious how it feels to wear rubber? It’s hard to describe how it feels except to say that it’s like a big warm hug all over your body. You don’t have to be kinky to get into wearing latex, and in fact, many of our customers are just looking for something eye-catching to wear out to a party or club.
Shopping for latex is always easier with help. I recommend going to your local fetish shop (Syren for example) so that their knowledgeable store staff can help you find the right size, answer questions and help you get into a garment. Don’t be shy or embarrassed, you are amongst friends! A latex T-shirt with a front zipper is a good beginner since it’s easier to get in and out of. Or, for more of a “Rubberman” look, add a pair of latex leggings or pants and black rubber gloves. The choices are endless, and you can always place a custom order to get exactly what you want – latex comes in dozens of different colors, so don’t think that wearing latex means that you have to be all in black.
Getting into and polishing your latex is easy with baby powder and a silicone-based lube. By applying either to your skin, anyone can slide easily into latex, no matter how much body hair they have. A silicone-based gloss gives you that super shiny wet look and helps protect your latex. If you are playing in your latex, always use water-based or silicone-based lubes. Never use Crisco or any oil-based lubes as they will destroy the rubber.
After a fun night of dancing, partying or playing in your latex, just wash it in your bathtub or sink with a few drop of dishwashing liquid and warm water, rinse with cold water, and hang to dry. The next morning, when the latex is dry and your hangover is gone, coat the latex with baby powder and store it in a black plastic container (even a garbage bag) to protect it from light, which deteriorates it. Latex will last a very long time if you take proper care of it. Keep it clean; store it away from light and from metals (which can stain) and never let oils touch your latex. I have some latex items that are over 20 years old and still look great because I’ve taken proper care of them. Go out and try on some latex, you don’t know what you are missing!
Jeffrey Gent’s work for Syren Latex Couture has been featured on shows such as “Ugly Betty” and “True Blood”, on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibit “Superheroes and Fashion,” and more recently on the character Silk Spectre II in the film, “Watchmen.“
Latex has been a part of the gay male fetish scene for well over 25 years in the US and even longer in Europe. There are events and clubs devoted to connecting latex fetishists in most major US cities, including a thriving scene here in Los Angeles. The Eagle LA has a monthly event called RUB OUT which is just for rubbermen (Friday June 26th) and they also sponsor the Mr. Eagle Rubber Contest. One of the best events to attend is West Coast Rubber Weekend (September 3rd thru the 5th) so make your reservations right away! RECON has a section just for rubbermen called Worldrubber.com that’s the best for social networking. Other websites, like Rubbermen.com, have helped form, over the years, the rubber scene as it stands today.
Latex is such an unusual and seductive material; there are all kinds of myths and misconceptions surrounding it. Many people are confused about the terms “Latex” and “Rubber.” Latex, which is made from the sap of the rubber tree, is a natural form of rubber.
When shopping for your first latex garment you will notice a wide array of prices. “Molded latex” – made by dipping a form into a vat of liquid latex – is temptingly affordable, but it doesn’t withstand stress well, rips easily, and has a shorter life span than items tailored from latex sheeting fabric, which is fused together using specially formulated glue. The tailoring process creates a more durable final product than molding rubber.
Are you curious how it feels to wear rubber? It’s hard to describe how it feels except to say that it’s like a big warm hug all over your body. You don’t have to be kinky to get into wearing latex, and in fact, many of our customers are just looking for something eye-catching to wear out to a party or club.
Shopping for latex is always easier with help. I recommend going to your local fetish shop (Syren for example) so that their knowledgeable store staff can help you find the right size, answer questions and help you get into a garment. Don’t be shy or embarrassed, you are amongst friends! A latex T-shirt with a front zipper is a good beginner since it’s easier to get in and out of. Or, for more of a “Rubberman” look, add a pair of latex leggings or pants and black rubber gloves. The choices are endless, and you can always place a custom order to get exactly what you want – latex comes in dozens of different colors, so don’t think that wearing latex means that you have to be all in black.
Getting into and polishing your latex is easy with baby powder and a silicone-based lube. By applying either to your skin, anyone can slide easily into latex, no matter how much body hair they have. A silicone-based gloss gives you that super shiny wet look and helps protect your latex. If you are playing in your latex, always use water-based or silicone-based lubes. Never use Crisco or any oil-based lubes as they will destroy the rubber.
After a fun night of dancing, partying or playing in your latex, just wash it in your bathtub or sink with a few drop of dishwashing liquid and warm water, rinse with cold water, and hang to dry. The next morning, when the latex is dry and your hangover is gone, coat the latex with baby powder and store it in a black plastic container (even a garbage bag) to protect it from light, which deteriorates it. Latex will last a very long time if you take proper care of it. Keep it clean; store it away from light and from metals (which can stain) and never let oils touch your latex. I have some latex items that are over 20 years old and still look great because I’ve taken proper care of them. Go out and try on some latex, you don’t know what you are missing!
Jeffrey Gent’s work for Syren Latex Couture has been featured on shows such as “Ugly Betty” and “True Blood”, on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibit “Superheroes and Fashion,” and more recently on the character Silk Spectre II in the film, “Watchmen.“
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Shocking Truth about Electricity
Snap, crackle and ZAP! This month Avatar welcomes Master George, Coordinator of Threshold. A Sadistic, Straight Male Dominant Master, involved in the lifestyle for 27 years, Master George is the founder of the Los Angeles Brother's In Dominance Group.
Master George is skilled in both the physical as well as the psychological aspects of BDSM. He has explored and accomplished a wide range of techniques in his years of training slaves for service specifically in High protocol in a D/s, or M/s Relationship.
He is expert in the use of the Violet Wand, and has given many demonstrations of its use at various events around the greater SoCal area. Plug in your curiosity and bring your shocking questions to Avatar for the best in educational, social and hard play events.
Date: Wednesday, June 24
Time: 8:30 PM - 10:00 PM
Place: MCC meeting hall -- 5730 Cahuenga Ave., North Hollywood, CA (2 blocks north of Burbank Blvd.) Attendees: All interested adults; no RSVP required. Social: Socialize with Avatar members and guests afterwards at The Bullet Bar on Burbank Blvd, just one block east of Cahuenga.
Date: Wednesday, June 24
Time: 8:30 PM - 10:00 PM
Place: MCC meeting hall -- 5730 Cahuenga Ave., North Hollywood, CA (2 blocks north of Burbank Blvd.) Attendees: All interested adults; no RSVP required. Social: Socialize with Avatar members and guests afterwards at The Bullet Bar on Burbank Blvd, just one block east of Cahuenga.
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