Searching for a Top who's a Ten

By Kinky Brothers

It's a Saturday afternoon, you're sitting on the couch daydreaming, thinking about the guys you've dated, the guys you've played with. And it occurs to you, that you want something more, something different, something...edgier. You're looking for your first Top!

First, you need to figure out what kind of top is your best fit. Figuring out what gets your juices going sometimes takes a little experimentation, and sometimes...you just know what pops a woody. So, here's a sampling:

Daddy — Maybe you like a man a bit older than you, so you can still act a little silly, be watched over, and yet have a great degree of independence, a Daddy may be the man of your dreams.

Master — Think on this...you, sitting naked on the floor, booted legs resting against your chest. With a bit of a kick to your butt, he says 'get me a beer'. You get hard and run to grab him a beer. He notices that you're hard, and gives your dick a quick rap with a riding crop, reminding you that you're not to get hard without permission. Which only makes you harder. Maybe you're looking for a Master.

Boss — Boots and braces are the order of the day. If you like a guy who's trim and fit, and well put together on the surface, but a raunchy, anything-goes and 'I'm the f**ker in charge' pig underneath, then the Boss will be your bliss.

Handler — Pure obedience. You will know when you've done a good job, and you'll know when you've missed the mark. A Handler will train you and work you but the rewards are worth it.

Getting there from here...
So, you know what you want, but don't know how or where to find it. You can always go to a leather bar or a gear event but it can be hard to break the ice. These days, the Internet is clearly the go-to spot for all things fetish. And it can be a safe platform from which to launch your search.

Do you have a profile on one or more of the hookup sites online? Recon? Adam4Adam? LeatherMatch? Most sites have free, basic profiles available.

Once your get a profile, you want to make sure that your profile is inviting. Here are some tips:
Pick a meaningful and sexy handle
Pick a great sexy main profile pic that shows you at your best
Fill out your profile with additional images
Say something about yourself
Say something about what you want
Update your profile from time to time
Send messages to guys who interest you
Reply to all the messages you get - even the ones that don't interest you


Think about what it is that turns you on. And, what do you want someone else to be turned on by. Browse other profiles, see what interests you. Look at the kinds of pics that make you stop and stare. Experiment with lots of pictures, and then look at them carefully and ask what each picture is really saying. Ask a professional photographer to take photos of you and be sure to give credit where credit is due. Remember, a pic is worth a thousand words. Make them work for you.

So...you've dressed up your profile, but nobody's knocking...? Try opening some doors. Send some introductory messages to guys you think are hot. Tell them WHY you think they're hot. Tell them a fantasy that really turns you on, but write it as if the guy reading it is the top in the story. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Be curious. Be friendly. Be responsive. Listen to what the messages you get back are saying and get into the role. If it feels right, go with it. If not, politely move on. And this may sound silly, but if you chat with a bunch of guys....take notes. It helps if you don't ask the same question over and over.

Most importantly, remember...it's supposed to be fun, so have fun with it.