I, Leather or I, Rubber?

I, Leather or I, Rubber? Are the two fetishes so different and can they exist in the same world?

As a kinky guy who's been into rubber almost as long as I've been into leather, the answer is a big ole pervy yes they are different and yes they happily exist in the same world! So why is the perception still pervasive that "real" leather guys don't wear rubber? And neither do bears or hairy guys or guys with a less-than-a-perfect gym bod.

We just had our 5th annual West Coast Rubber Weekend here in LA and I can tell you that every one of those guys who "don't" wear rubber was there and every one of them looked and felt hot in their gear. It's all about attitude and it's about how you feel in what you wear.

There are some major differences between the two fetishes. Leather tends to be more traditional with with the hyper-masculine (and hyper-hung!) Tom of Finland leather man in classic leather breeches, boots and leather uniform shirt serving as a prime example. I have to say "tends" to be more traditional because as the fetish has evolved designers like Priape in Canada, www.gaibec.com, have emerged with hot, cutting edge designs that incorporate unusual cuts, fabrics and treatments. Locally you can snag amazing creations with color and cut at Rough Trade and 665.

Rubber tends to fit a lot tighter than leather and aficionados of the fetish talk about the sensuality of wearing rubber, how it conforms to your body and becomes like a second skin. Rubber also lends itself to really sensual play like lubing up and sliding around on a play sheet, grinding against each other until....well, I'm getting off track here. It's hot, let's just leave it at that.

And yeah, rubber is hot, and it's cold. Because it is like a second skin it doesn't tend to offer a lot of protection against the elements. One of the most common comments I get when I'm out in my rubber gear is "Isn't that hot?" Yeah, it can be and that's part of the sensuality of wearing rubber when you get that layer of sweat underneath and you feel the rubber moving against and with your body. It's like whole body frottage!

I'm seeing more and more rubber at leather events like International Mr Leather and Mid Atlantic Leather and I'm even seeing some leather at rubber events like West Coast Rubber. These days it's less about the protocol and more about what feels sexy and hot. This weekend we selected Jeffrey Moline, a local WeHo guy, as our Mr West Coast Rubber for 2009. I know that Jeffrey also wears leather, and suits and sports kit, and looks hot in all of them. By the way, you can start your own slippery rubber collection at Syren/Stockroom right here in LA.

So, whether you're wearing leather or rubber, get your gear on and get your rocks off!

Loren Berthelsen
Mr Golden Leather 2009
Co-Producer, West Coast Rubber
Photo by JayPG Photography

OPEN KINK

By: Kinky Brothers

LA brings back the American Leatherman title home. Randy Carmenaty, American Leatherman 2008, went to New Orleans the weekend of July 9-12 to step aside and sash his successor. LA's Alex Lindsay beat out the competition and is the new American Leatherman 2009. Alex is also the current Mr. Regiment 2009 and 1st Runner-up to Mr. LA Leather 2009. Alex's competition consisted of a basket auction, interview with the judging panel, jock wear, formal leather & speech, and stage fantasy. Alex's formal speech described his title year's platform - openness in the kink community. Below he discusses his willingness to publicly discuss BDSM and share that passion openly and proudly.

Leading up to competing for the title of American Leatherman, I had a realization. It occurred to me that everything good I have in my life stems directly or indirectly from openness. Whether it's my work, marriage, friends, or community, the happiness I enjoy is enriched by openness. For forty years we have celebrated gay pride, and more recently leather pride as well. But there's more to kink than leather, and more to pride than parades.

I decided to create a way for people who are kinky to be out and proud about their kinks together, rather than as separate communities. Regardless of sexuality, whether they are into leather, rubber, flogging, fisting, furries, or who-knows-what. A way to say "I like creative sex. Talk to me about what turns you on or ask me about what turns me on. We may or may not like the same things, but we have this passion in common."

OpenKink is a symbol - a combination of an O and K - standing for Open Kink, and also as a reminder that it is OK to be kinky — whatever your kink. OpenKink.org is also a network — a way to find those people, clubs, websites and organizations which are kinky and reach out the public to share their kink.

It began in New York City, where I was born and raised. 40 years ago, just after I stepped into the world, the Stonewall riots opened the door of the gay closet, and we've been stepping out of it ever since. For me, during my freshman year of college, as soon as I realized it was guys I was interested in, I came out to my friends, and very quickly to my family. Absolutely, it was not an easy thing to do, but it strenghtened my relationships with my friends and my family. Rather than building a wall between us, I built a window. I quickly found myself playing the pronoun game at work. I came out there as well, and the sky didn't fall. Coming out gave me more confidence as a person—my comfort with my own sexuality spilled over into a confidence in the way I lived my life.

I knew I was kinky, even though I didn't know that's what being kinky was. What I did know was that the AIDS crisis was building, and I was terrified of sex. I discovered the Spike, but was so scared of the stories, that I would sit in my car weekend after weekend, waiting for something to happen. The thing that happened, is that I saw an announcement about GMSMA meetings. I was amazed to discover that there were men who talked about and taught about kinky sex. I was able to keep myself from jumping into the deep end of the pool, and instead stepped onto the stairs. I was welcomed and made friends there and was introduced to BDSM. To this day, I firmly believe that GMSMA saved my life. It may or may not be true in fact, but it is my personal truth.

Since that time I have sought out those people who present themselves publicly as kinky members of the world we live in. Whether they are the Leather Daddies of San Francisco, members of Threshold in LA or Club X in San Diego or club brothers in Avatar Los Angeles, these men and women enrich their lives and mine by sharing their passion openly.

I believe that, yes, coming out is a challenge, fraught with risk, and coming out kinky is even more so. There was a time not that long ago when being perceived as gay could ruin your family, your friendships, your career. But, thanks to the hard work, perseverance, and courage of individuals and organizations all around the world, we as gay men and lesbians now live in a better world. Is that work over? No, but it only gets easier as we become more visible.

And so it is with being kinky. Today, there are many places where you still risk family, friendships, career if your enjoyment of kinky sex comes out. But there are more and more places where is it irrelevant. Especially in larger corporations, the culture has developed where if you are a productive worker, your personal life is not an issue as long as it does not interfere with your work. This is on par with one's practice of religion. This is not to say that we need to share the details of our sex lives with friends, family, and colleagues, but it does mean being open to curiosity, and being ready to share. A few months ago, when asked what I was going to be up to over the weekend, I paused for a moment, and I came out. I said "I am competing for the title of Los Angeles Leather." There were questions about what that meant, and I offered some general information about the contest. Other questions were asked privately, and I offered a little more information.

So, OpenKink.org was born. Right now tell me what turns you on, and OpenKink will help you find it.